You’re invited:
It’s that time of year… graduation announcements have started to arrive in my mailbox and with that the memory of my own kids’ graduations.
When my first born began his senior year I began the countdown.. the last first day of school, the last football game, the last Thanksgiving, Christmas, Groundhog day… you name it. I sighed a lot more than usual and I never knew what would trigger the tears that always seemed to be lurking and ready to pounce at the most inopportune moments.
I loved being a mom. I loved the constant stream of Joey’s loud, messy, funny friends in and out of my house. I loved the joy and fun and activity that came along with the gang of boys we lovingly called “Joey and the stooges”. I couldn’t picture what my life would look like when that changed. There was still my sweet girl at home but how would we operate as a family without our boy? And worse… I was already anticipating the few short years down the road when my nest would be fully empty.
It all came to a head the day I was at Swoozie’s designing the invitation to Joey’s graduation party. The lovely young girl who was helping me had no idea what she was in for when she innocently asked me for the date of the party.
And the flood gates opened
There it was:
The date of graduation.
The End.
It.Would.Never.Be. The. Same.
And it wasn’t. But it wasn’t all bad. In fact a lot of it was better than good- it was life changing in all the best possible ways.
I couldn’t picture it. Sitting in Swoozie’s that day sobbing (oh yeah… it was like THAT… the big, ugly, mascara running down my face cry), I couldn’t imagine what my life would look like in a few months, in four years when the baby left, when they both were gone and it was just Greg and I.
I suppose that’s the way it is- we can’t always see what is ahead…. but if I could, this is the invitation I’d send to my friends who may also be sitting in Swoozies choking back tears:
You’re invited:
- To cry if you need to
- To remember all the great (and even not so great) times of raising your babies
- To realize you have done a marvelous and imperfect and beautiful job as a parent (in other words- it’s o.k. if you haven’t yet taught them to do laundry, pay bills, make their own dr. appointments.. let me repeat – IT’S O.K…… there’s still time)
- To start to dream about what you might just want to do with that little bit of free time you suddenly have (though don’t be surprised if there’s less of it than you thought there’d be!)
- To look to your friends who are just a little bit ahead of you on this journey and notice their joy, their peace, the fun they are having both with their college age kids and without them
- But most of all to realize that while this is the end of one chapter, it is not “the end”. There will still be family vacations, holidays, and summer breaks. A new chapter is beginning and with it the excitement of a new stage, a new and more mature relationship with your adult (or almost adult children).
And here are a few things I wish I had known that I’d like to share as I pass you all a tissue:
- Your kids don’t really leave (as I write this Joey is staying the night with us since he’s moving into a new apartment and his internet hasn’t been turned on yet)
- The empty nest is neither boring, stagnant or lonely.
- There is actually not as much downtime as I thought there’d be; in fact my husband and I both began new careers that keep us busier now than we’ve ever been!
- Having “adult” kids means getting to do adult things; this spring break Grace and I went to the cutest martini bar in Savannah.
- My kids have turned into the kind of people I had always hoped they would be; smart, fun, funny, interesting and kind. Those are the kinds of people I love to be around and it took them flying the coop for a bit to finish off that growth.
So the sad part of this story is over (until the next sad part).
But I am here to tell you how I not only survived the sad parts but thrived in the wake of them.
I invite you to join me on this journey.Whether you are already an Empty Nester or soon to become one, let’ connect. Let’s share the sad and joyful parts and let’s celebrate what’s to come!
Let me show you how this can be the Beginning of some of the best times of your life!
xoxo
Mary Ellen
Empty Nest Life Coach
Got some concerns/fears/or just feeling a bit sad about all of this? Hop on the phone with me and let me help you! Click here for your free 15 minute call!
Do you want more? Connect with me on FB @ Mary Ellen Garde Coaching