Why I practice Gratitude: As many of you know, I send out letters of gratitude as my Lenten practice. I do this for the forty days of the season and I have no rhyme or reason as to who I write to on any given day – it’s just whoever God puts on my heart in that moment.
A few days ago I wrote one to my friend Maggie, who I met through a bible study some 10 years ago. We have more or less been in and out of each other’s lives ever since; we were neighbors for a brief time, our kids went to the same school, and most recently we have been part of a lovely book club filled with a variety of women from different parts of the city of Atlanta but all empty nested (or soon to be). Maggie has been one of the handful of people I can count on to ALWAYS give me feedback on my blogs. From the start, she encouraged, supported, and gave me confidence she probably didn’t know I was desperately in need of. This past Christmas I missed our annual book club party and book exchange because of my daughter Grace’s illness. Maggie had hosted which made me doubly sad to miss because I know how much she loves Christmas and she entertains in a way that I both envy and enjoy; relaxed yet elegant. She is the epitome of southern grace; all china and silver and pressed linens, but she does it in a way that makes you feel welcomed and loved. In the wild book exchange that took place there was a book with a post it note that said: Mary Ellen pick me! This is not our normal way, but Maggie being Maggie – she had found this special book and wanted to make sure it got into my hands. Of course it did (through another dear friend who made sure to get it to me). It was a wonderful book; Maggie was spot on in knowing it would speak to me. I wrote her a note and mailed it and when she received it she texted me right away to tell me how very much she loved getting “real” mail. The note had made her day. It reminded me how much I love my Lenten observance and I made a mental note to send Maggie one of my letters.
That letter arrived in her mailbox yesterday. I don’t even remember what all it said to be honest; I know I thanked her again for her constant support and love. I hope I told her what an amazing wife, mother, daughter and friend she is. She, of course, sent me a text as soon as she got it and thanked me for the “real mail” love. She actually told me that her daughter Margaret had just finished a project in her art therapy master’s program about music and so whenever she had a thought pop in her head now she would associate it with a song and told me the sweet, peppy tune that she thought of when she got my letter was “you’re making my dreams come true”. I hadn’t had a chance to respond to her text and then this afternoon I got word that Maggie’s beloved daughter had died last night in a car accident. The same daughter who had given her mother the idea to put songs to her thoughts was now suddenly gone.
As I write these words I’m overcome: as a mother, as a friend, as someone who believes in God and that He is, indeed, good. I knew I had no words but I texted Maggie anyway – you know, the stupid things we say and write when there are no words.
And within a minute a text back: I love you.
She took a moment out of her unimaginable and painful reality and comforted me.
So this is why I practice gratitude:
♥ Because you don’t know
♥ Because we only have right now
♥ Because the people who we love need to know it
♥ Because it beats the shit out of choosing fear and panic and anxiety
I am so glad I wrote that letter when I did. If I had waited one more day it would have been a different letter. It will be the letter I write her this week.
Life is full of pain and uncertainty, but I know that each of you have blessings in your life. I ask you today for my friend Maggie, who always took the time to encourage me, to pay that attitude forward in memory of her beautiful daughter, Margaret.
Tell one person in your life that you love and appreciate them and for God’s sake, tell them why. Celebrate someone you love today. Recognize what is good and great and lovely around you.(and then lather, rinse, repeat)
After all, it beats the shit out of the alternative.
Gratitude is like a muscle – the more you use it the stronger it grows. Here’s to some quality weight training.
Wishing you love my friends …. In deep gratitude.
